There's a Confidence App for That: Forgiveness
When I purchased my latest cell phone I had a huge learning curve! But one of the really fun things I do is check out the apps that I can get for my phone. As I was thinking about apps and confidence I thought how cool it would be if when you get hit with self doubts and low self esteem you could touch an app on your phone and feel great.
It doesn't work that way, of course, because your confidence apps are going to be inside you. But once you know what your confidence apps are you can easily access them when you need them. Designate a place on your body where your confidence app resides - perhaps a pulse point. The next time you start to feel low just touch you APP Place - recall your confidence app and you'll find yourself instantly feeling confident and sure of yourself.
Really, confidence is like a roller coaster - up and down - up and down - Confidence Apps will help you stay up more than you're down!
The 1st app I want you to install is the Forgiveness App.
We all make mistakes. I challenge you to find anyone in this world who hasn't. But hanging on to what we've done wrong kills our self esteem and confidence. My husband and I have 5 kids and I'm sure I've made 5 million mistakes but if I hung on to what I've done wrong I'd never get off the couch.
Here is an example when Chris was 3, Emily was 1, and Abby was a baby. Abby never slept more than 2 hours at a time - which meant that I never slept more than 2 hours at a time. Most days I felt like a walking zombie. Finally at 7 1/2 months old I brought Abby into the doctor just to check - she never seemed
|Chris, Emily, Abby & Sean |
sick or feverish - but I thought there must be something I'm missing. The doctor found that Abby had ear infections in BOTH her ears. I felt like the absolute worst mother in the world. Talk about no confidence in my mothering skills. We started Abby on antibiotics which sometimes worked and sometimes didn't and at 11 months I brought her to a specialist. He had us come back a week later and he put tubes in both her ears. The results were miraculous.. She was a changed child. I blamed myself for being a terrible mother and felt horrible but in my defense how could I have known? I never had an ear infection; Chris and Emily never did, but still, I needed to forgive myself and have peace in knowing that I did get her help.
That is just one example. All of us could list pages and pages of things that we've done and usually not even intentionally.
Let me share a business example. I spoke years ago to 750+ high end realtors in Florida. They only sold homes around mountains, oceans, and golf courses. So, no pressure! About 2 minutes into my presentation I totally blanked out. I could not remember one word I wanted to say. I did the mistake that no speaker should do and I said, "Oh, I forgot what I wanted to say" and then luckily, some thoughts came back to me and I went on. I was so upset and so mad at myself when I was done. After the presentation I was beating myself up and really doubted my worth as a speaker. But then I had a 'come to Elizabeth meeting' and asked myself, "Have I ever heard a perfect presentation?"
"Will I ever give a perfect presentation?"
I needed to forgive myself for messing up and move on.
First thing you MUST do is to forgive yourself, Yes, right now. I'm serious. You are a human being and you are not perfect. And, believe it or not, no one else thinks you are perfect either.
I'm not saying this is easy. But it is time. What you're hanging on to is hindering you from having the life you want. No change...no change.
Forgive yourself. What a confidence builder!
ACTION STEP: Think of 2 things that you are hanging on to with guilt and write them down. Now then write down these exact words - I forgive myself for __________________________ and I forgive myself for ________________________________. Then let them go.